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Just before pulling it open I glanced back and saw my husband driving around in the golf cart, heading in the opposite direction. I almost stopped then and there, my heart almost bursting out of me when I realized that it would not be him inside. It was not “safe” anymore, but maybe dangerous and that thought seemed to arouse me even more so now that there was an element of danger to it. My hand on the door, there was a two-inch gap between the door and the other closed door and still not knowing if I was going to go through with this, I felt another hand, large and warm cover my hand. I stilled and my breath caught in my throat, I might even have whimpered, but the hand was gentle and a voice whispered from the inside very softly, “Ah Sugar, please, it’s me Jim, come inside”. Letting him bring me inside, my legs shaking because Jim was one of the new warehousemen that I had felt attracted to during his interview. A big man with a nice smile, he had always had a way of looking at me. ”And he said, “You don’t have to worry about your aunt right now. You’re here in the hospital so that we can look after you. You will not be seeing her while you’re in here.”Then he said, “What other reason do you think I have for dressing you like that?”So I said, “I don’t know. Maybe you like perving at my bony arms and legs and my skinny ass.”Then he said, “I’m not the one who needs to keep seeing those bony arms and legs of yours.”That’s when I figured it out. He wanted me dressed like this so I would keep seeing how skinny I am.Before being in the hospital, I’d practically perfected the art of getting dressed without actually looking at myself. With my usual clothes being so loose and baggy, I could pretend there was nothing wrong with me. I knew I looked awful but I could pretend everything was normal. Now that all I’m wearing is little more than a bikini, I can’t hide it from myself. Every time I move I catch glimpses of myself. And they have a full-length mirror beside the.
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